Feeling powerless

I have a friend, a coworker, who is involved with an abusive man. She has three beautiful girls, from this man. She finally confided yesterday that he has been abusing her for awhile. (It was difficult for her to hide it any longer with the black eye she was sporting.) I, and several other conserned coworkers, advised her to go directly to the hospital so they could document the injury and contact the police for her. She insisted on staying at work until early afternoon. She tried staying all day, but we did finally convince her to leave shortly after lunch. She then went to the library to "research" what she needed to do, and to "clear her head". She finally did go talk to a councelor at a safe house. Who told her the same things we told her earlier. She also went to the emergency room later in the evening, so they could take a look at her eye. But she then decided she didn't want to press charges against him because she's afraid what he might do to her or the kids. Then today, she drops the kids off with him and comes to work. I realize he hasn't hurt the children, but if he is angry enough at her, he could take it out on them.

I get so frustrated with women thinking they don't have any option other than staying with a man that abuses them. Myself included. I stayed in a verbally abusive marriage because I didn't think I could raise my child alone. I also began to believe all the hurtful things he said to and about me. You hear them long enough and you start to believe you're ugly, worthless, fat, hopeless. I finally drew the line at the adultry. I would have lived with the verbal abuse, but the cheating was the final straw. To be honest, I didn't even have to leave him. We were already living apart. He was in Louisiana. I was in SC staying with my parents. I found out from his cousin he was living with someone. All I had to do was call him and conferm he was shacked up with someone else. So, to be completely honest, if we were actually living together, I might not have left. I had had my suspecions he was cheating before that, but I couldn't be sure, and it was easier to be ignorant. Once we officially seperated, I was told about other women had been involved with, even when we were first dating. I asked these people why they didn't tell me sooner. They all had the same answer. They didn't want to get involved. So instead I blindly married a man who couldn't be faithful.