Obsession

I am a bit of an obsessive person. I find something I like and gorge myself on it until I can't stand it anymore. Not only food, but people, places, things, anything I find of interest. For example, I post on a message board. When I first signed up, I spent hours reading everything that had been posted. Then, when I started posting, I would check in frequently to see if anyone had replied to my comment. If someone posted anything other than what I was talking about, I got offended. I would log in numerous times during the day, while at work, to check to see if anything new was there. This continued for a couple months, then it tapered off. I still log in frequently to read what others have written, but I'm not compelled to comment on it. I have done this with a couple different sites I've liked. I also do this people. When I first start dating someone I want to be with them all the time. I want them to want to be with me all the time. I get offended if they want to do something without me. This continues for awhile, until I've been with them so much they start to irritate me. Sometimes it's a long time before that happens, but I've also had it happen rather quickly. When I get to that point, I start finding reasons not to spend so much time with them or, when I do, I become snippy and short with them. Leaving them wondering what has gone wrong. This is one reason I think it's best if I stay single for awhile. The last two relationships I've had have ended badly, but I got so caught up in them that I forgot out me, and my daughter. So her sake, and mine, the single life is the best place for me. Atleast this way, if I obsess about something on the internet, she doesn't feel like there's someone more important than her.

Feeling powerless

I have a friend, a coworker, who is involved with an abusive man. She has three beautiful girls, from this man. She finally confided yesterday that he has been abusing her for awhile. (It was difficult for her to hide it any longer with the black eye she was sporting.) I, and several other conserned coworkers, advised her to go directly to the hospital so they could document the injury and contact the police for her. She insisted on staying at work until early afternoon. She tried staying all day, but we did finally convince her to leave shortly after lunch. She then went to the library to "research" what she needed to do, and to "clear her head". She finally did go talk to a councelor at a safe house. Who told her the same things we told her earlier. She also went to the emergency room later in the evening, so they could take a look at her eye. But she then decided she didn't want to press charges against him because she's afraid what he might do to her or the kids. Then today, she drops the kids off with him and comes to work. I realize he hasn't hurt the children, but if he is angry enough at her, he could take it out on them.

I get so frustrated with women thinking they don't have any option other than staying with a man that abuses them. Myself included. I stayed in a verbally abusive marriage because I didn't think I could raise my child alone. I also began to believe all the hurtful things he said to and about me. You hear them long enough and you start to believe you're ugly, worthless, fat, hopeless. I finally drew the line at the adultry. I would have lived with the verbal abuse, but the cheating was the final straw. To be honest, I didn't even have to leave him. We were already living apart. He was in Louisiana. I was in SC staying with my parents. I found out from his cousin he was living with someone. All I had to do was call him and conferm he was shacked up with someone else. So, to be completely honest, if we were actually living together, I might not have left. I had had my suspecions he was cheating before that, but I couldn't be sure, and it was easier to be ignorant. Once we officially seperated, I was told about other women had been involved with, even when we were first dating. I asked these people why they didn't tell me sooner. They all had the same answer. They didn't want to get involved. So instead I blindly married a man who couldn't be faithful.